I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
