things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
