nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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