if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
