He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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