Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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