bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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