weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
