Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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