Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
