i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
