Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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