Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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