Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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