K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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