Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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