I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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