I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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