I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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