Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
