Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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