as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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