you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
