I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
