I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
honey bunches of taint.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
