I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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