Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
