good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
