yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
