I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
