to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize