last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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