she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
