the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
