Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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