I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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