Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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