dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
