____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize