We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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