And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
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I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
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No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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