when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
