What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
