My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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