We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize