living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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