weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
