so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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