My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I will be naked everywhere
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
