dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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