it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
