butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
