We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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