I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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