while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
