She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
