I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sext me about skeletons
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
