There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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