forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
