I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
