why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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