she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
This is the prime rib incident all over again
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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