just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This is the high leading the old right now
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
