I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
